I’m back to swinging in my hammock, reading Wodehouse and generally lazing around and gently enjoying the rains and swingin’…When my pal Hee-haw phoned up asking me to log in on Gtalk! Reason - he lives in a land far away and was interested in finding out where I lived! So there I was propped up on cushions, in my hammock laptop switched on, chat window open all ready to give him directions!

I tell you this and mark my words ya’ll - them Google guys will rule the world one day! They are as strong as Gawd!!! They are everywhere and they are watching you! First Hee-haw showed me where he lived and he lived in far-off land which did look like Lord Emsworth's rolling acres - a green carpet with little white spots which were actually houses.

I had to satisfy myself with that and was quite smug thinking with our population and houses and all, there is no way my place could be identified. However, going thru the google map thru the maze of clouds over India and zooming into my town in the hybrid pic in the map I was in for a surprise! Eeeeeeeeeeek!!! There's a giant sign in the picture and it was pointing right in to my balcony where I was swingin in my hammock!!!

OMG I screamed I’m the Holy Grail !!! This is some fuckin Da Vinci Code... this is a trail in the sky!!! OMG could I be the grand prize to something larger than life - that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Years from now some one will zoom in and see the giant arrow pointing to my house and crown me queen!!!

Screeeeeeeeeech... but hey me holy? Nah!!! Don’t mommas around here point me out to their teens and threaten them with dire consequences of becoming me - the harlot, who smokes and swings openly on the balcony never leaving home and getting respectable and legal with a guy? Oh ya that's me - I corrupt one and all impressionable ones around. Right!!! THUD!!! Back to ground Zero… this is no holy grail it’s a giant sign in the sky - its the Harlot’s Trail!

The giant arrow in the sky is a new building nearby - a fancy schmancy apartment building with a fancy schmancy pool in a longish triangular building that pointed straight to my balcony! Imagine this, a reddish triangular building with a blue rectangle pool with an arrow head pointing right at my balcony!

Can it get any more specific? Yikes!!! I’m a sitting duck they are using them google maps and constructing buildings to point me out! Guess my black-magic pretend games of yore were all believed!

But then again, maybe its just a sign pointing me out to all the OOs I intend to make and have made! Yeh thats it! Phew!!! Hee-Haw was happy there was a convenient sign to my abode and promised to pass it on to all and sundry who wanted to know where I live!

So, if you see a giant red and blue arrow in the google map of your locality - that’s where I am ya’ll and that’s’ me there in the balcony if you walk by. Watch me swingin in my hammock smoking some good old Gold Flakes imagining and weaving tales of self-importance to amuse myself - Hi guys!