As the weekend approaches I was looking forward to my cuz Scorpio's visit from the US - But it seems he's had to change plans and will only come in the summer of '07! I'm dissapointed big time, for Scorp's the only one who upsatges me from the family's "tut-tut" attention.

Now you know why he is my best pal and partner-in-crime and co-conspirator in the goings-on in the family! Despite being married he has not changed a bit towards his friendship with me nor has he changed a bit from his acerbic comments to all in the family!

But, like me they also treat him with shaking heads and despite his success and happy marriage they still don't fawn on him. Scorp's got a huge problem now he's become a hulk and looks like Shrek next to his petite wife's non-ogre Fiona!

The last time he came we had had loads of fun - he came alone and with an ulterior motive! And he almost did not tell me either - the real reason for his visit! But, as luck would have it he really needed me to know it!

Before I go further and before you think we have some thing else going on let me tell you - he is the last person I have designs on - but... the family with their dirty minds keep wondering... why we are still thick pals! Only if they knew the kind of pranks we pulled on them!

The more they doubted - the more we enjoyed one another - but as he was born and brought up in America the elders believe he has no morals and as for me, I don't go about my life pretending I have any either! You see the more they think along those lines the more evil we got!

The last time he came we once more had fun with all the nosy ancestors! It all began when Scorp decided that it's time to shed some weight - reason- to be taken seriously. So, Woosh! He arrived with a spot of medical tourism in mind! I caught on to the story when I saw him mailing some doctor!

So, there it was... he was to rush off to Calcutta for some liposuction! To get the secret out I had to call up one old crush of mine and had to tell him - "I missed him" - but Scorp did not hear that I also whispered to him that Scorp's forcing me to say this! Just in case he showed up at my door! YIKES!

Anyway, he rushed off to Calcutta and did the job and came back to me straight! I had to put him up at a friend's house! He had bandages around his chest and abdomen - a face-brace for his chin and more bandages on his thigh! He told me he'd rather die than tell the real reason for them bandages to the family!

The family was told he went for his college re-union and would be hanging out with his pals. His wife of course kept in touch and was feeling happy I was there for him. Thank God for that! A suspicious wife would have killed our friendship!

But he had to be back among the family and so I told him to say that he had a bike accident! But he wanted it to be more heroic and wanted to tell them that he beat up four guys at the re-union! I said too many heroics and they won't believe a thing and will be more suspicious!

So when he got back to the family he went with the bike story but in true Scorp style had to make an overkill! "I was on the bike a pig crossed the road and I had to swerve and ended up crashing," he announced, much to my dismay!

There was pin-drop silence and I almost died then... but then Aunt Agatha said "oh my god are you ok now?"

Scorp looked over to me with his signature twinkle and then chomped up all the soul food he was served with glee. I too basked in this sudden symapthy wave and made him order for my mother's delicious prawns, Aunty B's chocolate puddings and my Uncle Gym' beef curry!

Needless to say it was heaven - we were being treated with love and tenderness and it was just payback for all the slander we endured all those years! But now Scorp's not coming till summer next because his wife's brother suddenly decided he did not like the girl he wooed for 3 years and thereby denying me of more swashbuckling adventures!

However, Scorp's assured me he will make it up to me big time for this loss and I'm eagerly waiting conjuring up more scenarios to enact in front of the family!